


light me up

by doughnutwhore



Category: Warrior Nun (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fun and Fluff, Happy Ending, big gay, dumbass energy, jealous beatrice, lots of yearning, sort of crack but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:22:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25253053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doughnutwhore/pseuds/doughnutwhore
Summary: "you got stuck on a wall when you saw Beatrice walking by. and then you phased from the second floor down to the first when you slipped up,"alternatively: in which Ava is a useless gay mess when Beatrice is around and the other sisters have started to noticeCOMPLETEread tags for more info
Relationships: Sister Beatrice/Ava Silva
Comments: 178
Kudos: 1837





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> title is from ingrid michaelson's song. dedicated to all of the lovely people in our warrior nun/avatrice stans gc on twitter. all hail the cult of lesbiches!
> 
> *work of fanfiction. no copyright infringement is intended

Ava grunts as she tries pulling her foot from the wall. She’s been stuck for minutes now, and Mary laughing behind her isn’t helping. 

“Seriously, Ava. This should be easy for you now considering you’ve phased through twenty feet of rock before.”

“I panicked at the last minute, okay,” she grumbles.

“Well what the heck happened?” 

Beatrice is what happened, Ava wants to say. There she was minding her own business, phasing through the walls, when Beatrice appeared in the hallway out of nowhere and _smiled._

Of course Ava got distracted. 

“Nothing. God, let me just -,” 

“What’s going on?” comes a familiar voice, and Ava’s heart starts hammering in her chest. She whirls around, cries in pain when she remembers that her foot is still stuck. God, she’s so embarrassing.

“Fuck.”

“Language,” Beatrice tuts, but she’s already lowering herself to the ground. “What happened?”

“She panicked at the last minute,” Mary supplies. “I don’t know why, though. Did you see a ghost or something?”

I saw an angel, Ava says in her head. Or at least that’s what she thinks she did. 

“You saw an angel?” Mary suddenly repeats, and only then does it come to Ava that she’s said it out loud.

Beatrice turns to her. 

Oh no.

And then Ava is suddenly falling, literally, phasing through the ground of the second storey down to the first where she (thankfully) lands on a dirty pile of sheets. 

Camila blinks at her from where she stands, a few meters away with a bag of detergent clutched tightly against her chest.

“Focus,” Lilith growls as she bears the weight of her sword down on Ava’s shield. “Use your own strength. You can’t keep relying on the Halo for power, Ava.”

“I’m trying,” Ava grunts. 

She’s been looking for an opening for god knows how long now, but Lilith is fast and unrelenting, and Ava’s getting tired of holding the weight of the metal above her. 

“Try harder,” Lilith all but shouts. She raises her weapon higher, ready to slam it back down on Ava’s shield when Ava notices a pair of legs drawing nearer. 

Ava cranes her neck off to the side, curious as to who it is that’s watching them train. She holds her breath when she finally sees who it is. It’s Beatrice, wearing that goddamned smile of hers that makes Ava’s heart begin to race. 

It’s like she’s been shot with energy all of a sudden, and before she knows it there’s a burst of light coming from behind her, this uncontrollable thrum of power splitting her back and going off, sending Lilith flying over to the other side of the mat. 

“Shit,” Ava mutters when she realizes what had just happened. “Lilith, are you okay?” She asks, running over to Lilith’s side and inspecting her for injuries.

A smack to the back of her head is what she gets in response. 

“I told you not to use the Halo,” Lilith hisses.

“I couldn’t help it.”

And then Beatrice is coming into view, lowering herself to the ground to help Lilith.

“You may have overexerted yourself,” Beatrice chuckles when her eyes find Ava's.

“Um, yeah, I’ll do better next time.”

“I know you will.”

There’s a certainty in her voice that makes Ava’s heart stumble upon itself. She’s blushing now and she knows it.

“Oh, I see,” Lilith suddenly says, a satisfied smirk plastered across her face.

Ava looks down at her, panicked, “What?” 

Lilith simply grins. Gossiping might be frowned upon by the holy order, but Mary and Camila are going to want to hear about this. 

“So you almost killed Lilith,” Mary teases when Ava plops down the seat beside Camila. She’d just finished her chores for the afternoon, and she’s extremely not in the mood to be made fun of at the moment. 

“I did no such thing,” Ava says with a roll of her eyes. “She kept beating my shield with her sword and I guess the Halo took over and saved me.”

“I don’t think it’s the Halo that saved you,” Lilith says a little too cheekily. 

“What do you mean?”

Lilith laughs, glancing at Mary before saying, “Maybe it was your angel.”

Well, fuck.

“No,” Ava gasps, wide-eyed in trepidation. “You guys know?”

Camila laughs beside her. “We kind of had a staff meeting about it earlier. I mean, you’ve been pretty obvious from the start, Ava. The evidence from the previous days basically just confirmed it for us.”

“Evidence?”

“You got stuck on a wall when you saw Beatrice walking by. And then you phased from the second floor down to the first when you slipped up,” Mary points out.

“You almost gave me a heart attack, by the way,” Camila adds, jutting out her lip when she remembers the incident.

At this, Ava groans. “Okay, okay. You guys got me. Maybe I do have a little crush on her.”

“A little crush? You threw me across the mat when you saw her watching you!”

“Fine. Okay. So maybe it’s a huge-ass crush that can be seen from outer space,” Ava groans. “Do you think she’s noticed?”

Camila is about to respond when Mary’s suddenly shushing them. “It’s Beatrice.”

Ava instantly reddens. 

“Oh, h-hey Beatrice. Just h-hanging around with my ladies over here.”

“Oh. Your ladies?” Beatrice clarifies, tilting her head in a cute way that makes Ava lose her mind. Of course, Ava knows that she isn’t being cute on purpose. She’s just naturally cute which makes it all the more difficult. 

“Y-yes, my girls. Right?” Ava asks, looking around but everyone else looks like they’re barely containing their laughter. 

Thankfully, Camila speaks up. “Yes, Ava’s girls. Like Charlie’s Angels. Except we’re actually God’s girls. Ladies? Anyway, we were simply bonding, sister Beatrice. Would you like to join us?”

Beatrice smiles at them fondly. “Of course.” She’s about to sit beside Lilith when the other girl suddenly spreads her legs open, claiming all of the available space. 

“I’m sorry sister, but my legs are exhausted from my sparring session with Ava. I need to open my legs to rest them. Perhaps you could sit beside Ava instead?”

“It’s not a problem, Lilith.”

Beatrice circles around them to claim the space beside Ava. It’s when she’s sitting down beside the girl that she notices her flushing. Without preamble, she stretches out her hand to hold Ava’s face. 

“Are you feeling unwell, Ava? Your face is so red.”

Mary chortles in front of her before fixing her face into a more serious expression. “You know what, Ava? Beatrice is right. You do look a little red.”

“You also feel a little warm,” Lilith adds, nodding her head. Ava glares at them, willing them to stop their bullying lest Beatrice catches on. 

“Would you like me to take you to your room, Ava?” Beatrice offers. 

That’s the last thing that Ava remembers before she implodes, literally, as a burst of light appears from her back before getting sucked back into her and leaving her unconscious on the floor. 

When Ava wakes up, it’s to the kind face of Mother Superion. 

“What happened?” she asks, wiggling her fingers and toes to make sure that she can still feel them. 

“You imploded, Ava.”

“I -what?”

“You imploded. Your light exploded inward.”

Ava rolls her eyes. “I know what ‘imploded’ means, Mother Superion. What I don’t understand is why I imploded.”

The older woman simply smirks, like she’s in on the secret. 


	2. Chapter 2

It’s been three days since Ava imploded, an incident that Ava will never be able to forget. 

First because it’s horrifyingly embarrassing, second because the sisters won’t stop bringing it up whenever Beatrice isn’t around, and third because Mother Superion keeps giving her that secret little smirk. 

It’s funny, actually, if Ava really thinks about it. What kind of pathetic little idiot implodes just because their crush volunteers to take them to their room? Ava chuckles at the memory.

“You look like you’re in a good mood,” 

Ava whips her head to the side, stops breathing for a second when she realizes that it’s Beatrice. 

“Oh, yeah. I just can’t stop thinking about that time I imploded. Funny, right?” Ava says, voice a little wobbly. 

Beatrice had visited her when she had awakened, had carefully caressed her face and asked her if she was feeling any better. Apparently making a fool out of yourself also has its rewards. 

“It wasn’t funny, Ava,” Beatrice replies, bringing the other girl out of her daydream. “I was really worried about you.”

Ava blushes, her heart jumping erratically in her chest. “Really?”

Beatrice walks over to her. 

“Of course I was. I didn’t know what was wrong with you,” she says with a frown, her eyebrows furrowing in that cute way that makes Ava fall even deeper. “If I don’t know what’s wrong, then how can I make it better?”

Ava opens her mouth to respond but finds that words won’t come out of her mouth. There she is, frozen in place as Beatrice brings a hand up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. 

She looks like an idiot, she knows this, but do idiots get rewarded like this? Ava doesn’t think so. 

Maybe she really is God’s chosen one.

“Oh, what’s going on here?” A voice suddenly booms, making Beatrice jump a step back from Ava. It’s Mary, grinning with pure mischief in her eyes. 

“Were the two of you having a moment?” Lilith teases when she steps into the room. “You have to be more careful, Ava. Wouldn’t want to get stuck on a wall again now, would you?”

“What are you girls talking about?” Beatrice asks, and Ava begins to panic. “What do you mean stuck -,” but the words die from her mouth when she realizes that the girl beside her has started to levitate. “Ava!”

“Oh, shit, shit,” Ava flails, not having realized that her feet aren’t on the ground anymore.

“Grab my hand,” Beatrice orders. 

“That’s not going to help,” Lilith says, laughing as she jogs forward to help her sister pull the floating girl down. “Mary, are you just going to stand there?”

“Let me finish laughing first.”

“Oh my gosh, what did you tell her?” Camila asks, infinitely curious about the events from that morning. 

The girls, sans Beatrice, are in the garden, tending to the flowers as a part of their afternoon chores. 

“I told her that I panicked because I didn’t want to get stuck in the walls again.”

Camila chuckles. “And that made you levitate instead? That wasn’t a very good alibi.”

“Yeah, I don’t think that she bought that,” Lilith comments. “Beatrice is the smartest person that I know.”

Ava groans, accidentally snipping a rose from its stem. “Ah, shit.”

“Language,” comes a voice from the shaded pathway in front of her. Ava gulps. “Although ‘shit’ is quite correct.” 

It’s Mother Superion. 

“I’m so sorry, Mother Superion. It was an accident.”

The older woman smirks. “Yes, an accident. Something that tends to happen a lot whenever you’re in the presence of Sister Beatrice.”

Ava reddens. “Uh, y-yeah. You know how clumsy I can be.”

“Clumsy, of course,” Mother Superion says before turning her attention to Mary, Lilith and Camila. Her voice becomes more serious, but there’s a twinkle in her eye when she adds, “Girls, please make sure that Ava and Beatrice do not have interactions outside of closed spaces. We do not need our Warrior Nun floating into outer space.”

“Oh, Mother Superion definitely knows,” Mary says when she sits beside Ava in the dining hall. 

“What does she know?” Beatrice asks, suddenly appearing behind her.

“That Ava has already given herself away to that JC boy back when we were still chasing her!” Lilith shouts all of a sudden. 

The other girls whip their heads towards her, Ava glaring at her so furiously that Lilith thinks lasers might shoot out of them. 

Beatrice turns to face Ava, suddenly looking somber. “Oh. I didn’t know that, Ava.”

“Um, it was a spur of the moment thing! I promise!”

“Did you love him?”

“I thought that I did.”

“I see,” Beatrice nods her head, her face still a picture of dejection. “Excuse me sisters, I’ve lost my appetite.”

The girls watch as Beatrice walks away from them. She disappears into a hallway before Ava turns back to Lilith, daggers coming out of her eyes when she grumbles, “What the hell, Lilith!” 

“Why would you say that?” Camila adds. 

“I panicked, okay? I’m sorry,” Lilith frowns. “It was the first thing that came to mind.”

“And did you see how Beatrice reacted?” Mary says, her eyes narrowing suspiciously. 

“She got angry.”

“Why do you think that is?”

Ava shrugs, “Because I gave myself away to someone I didn’t love.”

“And?” Mary probes. 

“And?”

“Oh my gosh!” Camila squeals just as Lilith’s mouth drops open. “No way!”

“What? Guys, what’s going on? What?” Ava asks, looking completely lost.

“Don’t tell her anything.”

“What won’t you tell me?” Ava groans. “I’m so confused.”

Lilith chuckles. “No, Ava. You’re not confused. You’re an idiot.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here we are at the end of the road. thank you to everyone who's read, commented, and left a kudos! special shoutout to my main lesbiches, you guys are amazing and this last chapter is dedicated to all of you

Lilith doesn’t have to call Ava an idiot for her to feel like one. She knows that she is. That’s basically her identifier now. Not that she minds. She’s a lovable idiot so it could be okay. What’s not okay is Ava still not figuring out why Beatrice won’t talk to her. It’s been two days for chrissake! Two agonizing days of small smiles but no conversation, little waves of hi’s and hello’s but no sparkle in her eyes when she does so. It’s heartbreaking, if Ava’s being completely honest. 

“Maybe I should just ask her why she’s been avoiding me,” Ava tells Camila as they sweep the floors of the main church. The other nuns are busy that morning with training, leaving just the both of them with their usual morning chores. 

“Do you really not know why she hasn’t been acting normal around you?”

Ava huffs before frowning. “I really don’t, Camila. All I know is that she’s angry that I gave myself to JC.”

Camila shakes her head. “I don’t think that angry is the right word for it.”

“Then what is?”

“You should ask her.”

Ava stops sweeping for a minute, looks at the marble figure of Jesus Christ on the center of the wall of the altar, “You think?”

“Well, Beatrice isn’t exactly an open book when it comes to her emotions, but I highly doubt that she’d lie to you if you ever ask her outright.”

The answer brings a smile to Ava’s face. “That’s enough for me.”

Ava and Camila head to the dining hall as soon as the clock strikes twelve, the large and cavernous hall slowly but steadily filling with an influx of sister warriors. 

The two girls head to their usual spot in the long table, not that they’re really supposed to have one, but the edge of the long wooden dining area is where they usually take their meals. 

“They’re not here yet,” Ava comments when she notices that the spot is empty. 

“They’re probably still changing,” Camila responds. “Do you want to wait for them first or will you come and get your tray with me?”

Ava looks around at the other sister warriors passing by. She’ll have a better chance of talking to Beatrice if she’s on the table when the other girl arrives. 

“I’ll wait here,” Ava says. “You should go ahead.”

Camila nods in agreement before disappearing, leaving Ava alone at the table. She sees Mary, Lilith and Beatrice walk in from the hallway leading up to their dorms. She raises a hand to wave at them. 

“Hey guys, how was training?”

“Brutal as usual,” Lilith sighs as she plops down the seat across from Ava, “but that’s what makes us the best.”

Mary hums her approval as she sits beside Lilith. Beatrice, on the other hand, remains silent as she walks around to sit beside Ava.

“How about you, Bea? Had a fun training session?” Ava turns to her, and the other girl gives her a fond look. Bea opens her mouth to answer when they’re suddenly interrupted by an unknown sister warrior. Or at least she’s unknown to Ava. 

The unfamiliar girl is standing by the end of the table, clearing her throat to get Ava’s attention. Ava doesn’t care of course, only has eyes for Beatrice but the sister warrior is tapping her shoulder.

Ava turns around. 

“Hello,” the girl greets her. 

“Uh, hey. Do I know you?”

That makes the sister warrior giggle. “No, you don’t, but I know about you.”

“Oh.”

“I don’t know, I’ve just been seeing you so much that I thought that it’d be nice for me to say hello.”

Ava smiles, “Hello.” 

She’s made friends here apart from her usual gang, but it’s always nice to make more, and the sister warrior in front of her seems friendly enough. Until she becomes too friendly, that is. 

The smile on Ava’s face becomes an embarrassed look of panic when the sister warrior moves closer to her, batting her eyelids when she says, “My name is Sister Alexandra, but you can call me Alex. I was wondering, Ava, if perhaps you wanted to spar with me sometime?”

Her question is innocent enough, but the way that her hand is skimming over Ava’s biceps up to her shoulder is another story. 

“Oh, uh,” Ava fumbles, getting tongue-tied because this Alexandra person doesn’t even care that they have an audience around. Jesus. 

“I could give you lessons. In private,” she says, making Mary cough and Lilith whip her head up to face her. Out of the corner of Ava’s eye, she sees Mary grab Lilith’s arm, restraining her because, well, Lilith looks like she’s about to go kung fu warrior on Alexandra. 

“Uh,” Ava continues stammering, and then Alexandra’s hand is sliding back down to her bicep, giving it a squeeze. The action overwhelms Ava more than it should, making her back glow a bright yellow light. 

“Oh,” Alexandra marvels. “Is that for me?”

And then Beatrice is standing abruptly from the table and leaving without saying goodbye. 

“Beatrice! Wait!” Ava calls after the other girl. 

Beatrice stops in her tracks, turns around with her arms crossed over her chest. She looks...wounded. 

“What do you want?”

“I was worried about you. You just left. You didn’t even eat yet.”

Beatrice sighs, shakes her head. “I’m fine. You should go back. They might be looking for you. Or at least Sister Alexandra is.”

Ava takes a step back. “What?”

“Nothing,” Beatrice says before turning around and walking away. Ava immediately walks after her, grabbing her arm and spinning her around.

“No. No, wait a minute. What are you talking about?”

“I’m just saying you should go back to Sister Alexandra.”

Ava’s brows furrow in confusion. “Why would I do that?”

But Beatrice won’t answer. Ava huffs, looks around and sees a broom closet. If Beatrice won’t talk out in the open then maybe she’ll say something when it’s just the two of them. Grabbing her by the arm, Ava opens the broom closet and drags them both inside. She closes the door behind her, turns on the switch to shed a little light.

“W-what are you doing?”

“I need you to talk to me.”

“Ava, we can’t be in here,” Beatrice says, moves to exit the small space but Ava moves in front of her, effectively keeping her in place.

“Then tell me, why do you want me to go back there? Why did you walk away just now?”

“Ava,”

“Come on Bea, just be honest for a minute,”

And maybe Beatrice is tired of Ava being an oblivious idiot, maybe it’s for that reason that she just can’t help herself anymore. 

“Because you glowed for her!” 

“What?”

Beatrice sighs, her hands finally dropping and her voice turning softer. “You glowed for her. I thought you only did that for me.”

Oh. Oh shit, Ava thinks. Shit. Shit. Okay. Calm down, Ava. 

“I do. I only glow for you. And get stuck on walls for you. And levitate for you. I didn’t think you noticed.”

Beatrice shakes her head, a small smile gracing her lips. “I did notice. I notice everything about you, Ava. And well, you’ve been obvious to me. Am I obvious to you?”

“What?” 

“Am I obvious to you?”

Ava gulps, suddenly realizing how small the space around them is. “Uh, no. I-I don’t know. I didn’t think you noticed anything, and I certainly would’ve never guessed that you -,”

Beatrice tilts her head. “That I what?”

“I don’t know.”

“That I would like you too?”

“Well, yeah. I mean look at you! You’re kind and beautiful and intelligent and talented and skilled and caring and thoughtful, and I’m just -,” but Beatrice is shushing her with a finger to her lips. 

“I’m going to stop you right there. I won’t listen to you think less of yourself when you’re passionate and brave and willful and annoyingly charming.”

Ava grins, that dumb grin of hers that makes Beatrice fondly shake her head. “You think I’m charming?”

“Of course you are, Ava. It’s becoming quite inconvenient actually.”

"Why is that?"

Beatrice bites her lower lips. She whispers her response like it's her most well-kept secret, "Because I can't stop thinking about you."

And shit, that just makes Ava's heart stumble on itself. She's glowing and she knows it. Her heart, god, it feels like it doesn't belong to her anymore. It belongs to Beatrice, and really, looking at the other girl now, Ava can only think of one thing.

“Can I kiss you?” 

Beatrice blushes. “I want you to, but I still have my vows and I know that I’m essentially already breaking them but if you could wait for me, then I’d like for us to do this right.”

Ava doesn't have to be asked twice. There's nothing else that she'd rather do, nothing else that she'd want more. “I’ll wait. Of course I will.”

“Good,” Beatrice says, leaning in to place a chaste kiss on Ava’s cheek before reaching around her to open the door. 

They’re immediately greeted by Camila, Lilith and Mary. 

“Oh, hello everyone. How did you know where we were?”

Mary just laughs, points to Ava behind Beatrice. “How can we not find you when you’ve got the New York Times Square over there?”

Alexandra rushes to exit the dining hall, walking as quickly but as inconspicuously as she can towards Mother Superion’s office. 

She knocks twice before letting herself in, closing the door behind her and walking towards the older woman. 

“I did it,” she reports.

Mother Superion smirks.


End file.
